If you don’t know what Sacred Wind is, then you soon will… Sacred Wind is a band, in an alternative realm, managed by Oldfart Olafson. The band are featured in a trilogy of books, also called ‘Sacred Wind’.
To find out more about the books, we made an inter-dimension phone call and spoke to Oldfart Olafson. Apparently, we interrupted his breakfast. But he was more than happy to talk…
Hi Olaf, lovely to meet you! Sorry for interrupting your breakfast. What were you eating?
Hi, nice to meet you too, lad. I was just finishing off some of Blanche Fluffywool’s sausages. She’s married to Maurice, who runs The Sheep’s Stirrup pub in Llangollen in our reality. You’ll never meet two nicer sheep, I tell you. And she makes the most spectacular sausages in the Multiverse.
The lads are great, thanks for asking. We played a celebratory gig at The Sheep’s Stirrup last night, as it was Maurice’s birthday, and it was a tad raucous. Those sheep can really party, and that lot last night really let their fleeces down.Mind you, we did an open-air festival last week, in front of the Great Pyramid of West Kirby and the band went down a storm… and so did the storm! Our drummer, Agnar the Hammered, got hit by lightning during his drum solo. We were all about to rush over to help him when Olaf the Berserker (Sacred Wind’s lead vocalist) said we should leave him to it as it’s the best we’d ever seen him play.
Tell us a bit about the Sacred Wind books…. what are they about?
Well the books tell the story of when a young lad from your reality, Aiden Peersey, managed to cross the dimensional barrier on his way to Llangollen. He was using this quantum-powered thingymajig Smartphone to navigate him there, apparently. But, so he told me, the Smartphone’s operating system does all its calculations in alternate universes, and it was also feeding off his unconscious desires, so it selected the most appropriate Llangollen in the Multiverse for him and navigated him there… to our reality. If that makes sense (it confuses the jibbery-pibberies out of me, I can tell you).
So, soon after he arrives he ends up becoming Sacred Wind’s sound engineer (I’m their manager, and they really are an excellent Welsh Viking Flatulence Rock band, you know) and before you can say knob-twiddler, he’s catapulted into an adventure with The Companionship of Wind to save the Faerie Queen, to win freedom for their land, to be able to fart freely, and to win the right to their cheese. It’s a very good story, full of conscious curries, headbanging sheep, magic cheese, telepathic cats, an evil Baron, some very sexy Faeries, and, of course, a Welsh Viking Flatulence Rock band…
What inspired Andy to write the books, do you think?
Well, as has been said by King Beef Vindaloo- Boiled Rice III (of Wrexham), sometimes there are tales that must be told, songs that must be sung, and farts that must be farted. And sometimes the spirit of these great adventures, heroic deeds, songs of glory, and flatulent blessings is powerful enough to touch the hearts, ears and nostrils of the gods. And so it was with Sacred Wind.
And so, in order for these tales to be read and for these songs to be heard, it was decreed that we should seek one in your reality who would be a suitable channel. The criteria were very strict: a spiritually-attuned individual with fire in his veins, passion in his heart, sharpness of mind, and steel in his underpants. Unfortunately, we couldn’t find anyone who qualified, so we had to settle for Andy Coffey. And so it is he who has been the vehicle for our story and for the magnificent songs of Sacred Wind themselves.
He found it a bit strange having voices in his head at first, but he soon got used to it (… although he never really took to the furry codpieces). His wind will be forever blessed.
Who do you think will enjoy reading the books?
Well, it’s for the young and old, for the daft and the not-so-daft, for anyone who dares to dream big, and for those who simply dream of a cheese sandwich. And so, if you want to delve into a world where curries will make you laugh, where sheep will make you cry, where no-one sniggers when your first name is ‘Oldfart’, where you’ll cheer quite a lot at the bits that have obviously been written to incite cheering, where you’ll think about faeries in ways you really shouldn’t, where you’ll be even more scared of Traffic Wardens than you ever thought possible, where vacuum cleaners get possessed, where Welsh Vikings can have platonic relationships with English sheep, where you’ll finish reading the story with a smile on your face and warmth in your heart, and where you’ll want to read more as soon as you’ve finished, then Sacred Wind is the book for you…
Which authors, dead or alive, inspire Andy’s writing, in your opinion?
He tells me he is very fond of your writers such as Douglas Adams, J.R.R Tolkien, David Eddings, Ben Elton, Terry Pratchett, Richard Curtis, Mike Myers, Rob Grant and Doug Naylor, and the Monty Python team.
When are the books available to purchase, and from where (in this realm)?
At the moment the books are available to download from Amazon Kindle and Smashwords, but will soon be available to download from all good stores in your reality, such as iTunes, Barnes & Noble, WH Smith, Kobo and many others around your world.
Hypothetically speaking, who would win in a fight between band members of Sacred Wind?
Ooh, now that’s a tough one. They all have such big weapons and really know how to use them. But, I think that Olaf the Berserker’s superior swordsmanship would probably see him win the day… unless Agnar’s hammer gets him in the unmentionables first…
What plans do Sacred Wind have next? Another album? A movie? A musical?
Well, the band is undertaking a massive tour in their reality at the moment, but they’ll be hoping to start work on a new album next year. I’ve heard tell that an audio book is being recorded at the moment, for release next year. Many people have spoken about a film of their adventures, and this is definitely an avenue I’ll be keen to take them down… mainly so we can attend celebrity parties. A musical, you say? Perhaps I should get in touch with that Andrew Lloyd-Webber from your reality. Do you think he’d be interested?
The Sacred Wind books are available from all good online book stores, including:
Contact Sacred Wind:
Tel: 07870 627692 – Manager – Oldfart Olafson
View the press release here: Sacred Wind Press Release_2